The Mind Fuck of Men
How do their minds work? That is the question that haunts us as we surreptitiously glance at our phones throughout the day. Will he? Or won’t he? Did it mean something or am I imagining it?
After all these centuries you would think we would have something better to do! God knows there are enough books out there. Remember Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Or the classic Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man? Last but certainly not least, He’s just not that into you.
The common theme in these books is that the woman always has to understand the man. That we have to crawl into their cranium filled with a hodgepodge of contradictions, mixed messages and outright lies; and try to come out with a kernel of hope. We begin to believe that if we try harder (become skinnier, funnier, smarter, sexier) that we can somehow begin to entice and attract this creature that spends the better part of a Sunday watching a ball go back and forth across 360 feet of Astroturf. This is what we are trying to impress, ladies!
But it’s not our fault. Sex screws us up. It coats us in a cloud of pink haze where we just start imagining shit. Where we super impose their silence with imaginary messages that we create in our heads, “He’s in love with me…he just doesn’t know it yet. We do have a connection, even though I haven’t heard from in three weeks. He probably just broke both his thumbs, which is why he can’t take text me back.”
If we are to survive in this new world of apps, hook-ups, flings and whatever else we’re calling it. We have to stifle our own biological urges and measure men for their actions and never their words. If they say they’ll call and they don’t, that makes them a liar. If they don’t reach out, it’s not because they’re secretly writing sonnets under the stars thinking of our laugh. Nope—they’ve just forgotten about us. We were not as important as the pig skin that’s making its way across the 45 yard line.
Here’s something radical. Let’s make men understand us! Let’s be clear about our expectations. If you’re idea of a good time is fuzzy socks, sweat pants and I-Zombie, then let him know. Instead of a sext, send a sweaxt (sweatpant selfie, anyone?)
Start with the truth of who you are. The people in your life that want you to maintain the façade of lies will fade away…eventually.
And the most important truth of all—is recognizing the difference between boys and men. Boys will always be out looking for the next, new shiny toy. Whereas a man can appreciate what they have in front of them.