• T.Kactus

Eff It, I'm 40!



Dearest Readers,


It has been a hot minute since I chatted with you. I hope you’re doing well and navigating thru the obstacle course of your life as best as you can. I wanted to make the teeny tiny announcement that I HAVE TURNED 40.


Yes, me! Somehow I have ambled through 40 years on this planet and survived. In one piece! I am incredibly proud of this achievement.


Now time is relative, as we all know. The earth is roughly 4.5 billion years old. So 40 is a minuscule pebble in comparison. However, the average human lifespan is about 70-75 years. So I may have fewer years ahead of me than I do behind me. What does this realization mean? I don’t fully know yet.


While I go and meditate on that, I did want to share 4 of the most meaningful things that I have come across in my 40 years on planet earth:


Beauty: It is so important to find beauty in everything in your life. Whether it’s your favorite sweater, the golden-red color of autumn leaves, how the clouds form in the evening sky. Everything in our lives is so beautiful, if we take a second to just look at it.


Art: If beauty is a noun then art is the verb. For example, a woman sitting in a cafe is beautiful. A woman sitting in a cafe, swirling her cup of coffee is art. Art is beauty in motion. If we admire beauty then we are obligated to worship art.


People: We need people in our lives. We need to build a tribe of people we can rely on and find joy with. We are not built to endure hardships alone. And yes, there will be toxic people, predatory people, bad people. But sift those out and continue to forge relationships with people. People are amazing. We learn from people. We get inspired by people. We can achieve so much more together than we ever can alone.


Love: Love is everything! I love everything about love. In my opinion, you can never have enough love. A quick run-down of the types of love there are (according to Greek philosophers)


Eros: romantic, passionate love. Throw lust and pleasure into this mix.


Philia: intimate, authentic friendship. Encouraging and kind. A love based in good will and wanting the best for the other person.


Erotoropia or Ludus: playful, flirtatious love. A casual, sexual, exciting type of vibe with zero obligations attached


Storge: Unconditional, familial love. Driven by familiarity, a sense of duty and obligation.


Philautia: Compassionate self-love. Care-based love that reinforces your sense of self,


Pragma: Committed, companionate love. Love built on commitment, understanding, and long term interests, like building a family.


Agape: empathetic, universal love. The highest form of love. Love that is inclusive of Gods, nature, strangers, and less fortunate. Empathetic love towards humanity itself.


It is mandatory that we feel love, otherwise, we truly miss out on the experience of life. And for those of you, that think withholding love keeps you safe and free from hurt. I say, get hurt anyway. Fall in love headfirst, and embrace it fully. Love absolutely. And if the people, places, and things in your life can’t reciprocate that love back. Please know that it isn’t your deficiency, but theirs. They are unable to match your love with their own. Love and keep loving.




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