Updated: Apr 13, 2020
We are in a future that feels oddly like the past.
When I pictured 2020 what came to mind was a shiny gray world filled with steel machines humming silently next to a perfectly balanced ecosystem of flora and fauna. Humans whizzing by on automated walkways before entering their flying cars to jet off to the nearest galaxy. The world moved at lightning speed, but all decisions were made with efficiency in mind.
But here we are in 2020 and everything remains the same. Worse certain advances in humanity feel like their unraveling before our eyes.
Perhaps it’s naïve of me, but I can’t believe racism still exists. I can’t believe that right wing nationalism has cropped up all over Europe and that the alt-right movement exists in the United States, 56 years after segregation ended. But I don’t want to sit here and moan about the state of the world—because we have Bill Maher for that. I want to bring concrete solutions to the table and I think I’ve found the cure for racism. All races should be identified as Starbucks flavors. Hear me out--Instead of me being an Asian Pacific Islander (cuz what the fuck is that?). I would instead be a Hazelnut Latte (a little nutty, but mostly sweet). How hard would it be to attack the Peppermint Mocha tribe? And yes the Vanilla Latte’s can’t help being a little…vanilla but ya know, we can still help them learn some dance moves. The world would naturally come together because we’re all 90% water, 10% milk and 5% sugary substances that should probably be cut out of the diet altogether. There you have it, you’re welcome world!
The other progressive law that somehow went backwards in time is Roe V Wade. Established in 1973 it allowed pregnant woman to choose to have an abortion without government interference. However 46 years later, nine states have passed bills to limit the abortion procedure. “Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Mississippi and Ohio stopped short of outright bans, instead passing so-called heartbeat bills that effectively prohibit abortions after six to eight weeks of pregnancy, when doctors can usually start detecting a fetal heartbeat. Utah and Arkansas voted to limit the procedure to the middle of the second trimester.” Rebecca Lai [The New York Times]
A woman usually does not detect pregnancy until she is 4-6 pregnant, this law effectively stops her from moving forward with an abortion altogether. The statistics are as follows—Adults have sex and contraceptives aren’t always effective. Nearly one in four women will have an abortion in her lifetime. It is ludicrous to not allow her to have this choice. There is no simple solution to this one, however if DIY abortion kits were to be made and distributed—this may be the million dollar idea to pitch at the next Shark Tank episode. There you have it, you’re welcome world!
Last but certainly not least—where the eff is my flying car? I’ve been watching the Jetsons since I was five years old and I am bitterly disappointed that instead of flying cars we have J.Lo and Kim K. shoving “Portal from Facebook” in our faces. Like who decided that this took precedent over flying cars? But fear not, Uber and Hyundai have come to the rescue. According to CNN, those two are teaming up to put flying taxis in the sky by 2023. I am so excited!! Let’s all please go invest in both those companies—so that all my dreams can come true as soon as possible. There you have it, you’re welcome world!